Love of an Angel
by Lacus Klein
Summary: Possibly ongoing later. My first smut fic in a long time...
1. Love of an Angel

To Be Loved By An Angel

By: Lacus Klein

Notes: Oh my God, I can't believe I'm actually writing this. Possibly the first R fic for this series? Don't know, but I'm about to find out. I had the idea though, and I just had to write it. 

Summary: TsukasaxTomonori. Rated R for yaoi scenes, though mellowed for NC 17 will be posted on soon. I'll put up a note when it is. Basic story is the development of a romantic relationship between to the two. Slight angst, though possibly may grow. Well, on with the story

Tsukasa sat in his room and stared out of the window at the full moon. Leaned against the window sill, he sighed softly. That dream again, he thought. He'd been dreaming a lot lately. And they weren't normal dreams. Sighing again, he shifted and pulled at the night clothes sticking to his body. 

Is this why they call them wet dreams? Tsukasa wondered, sitting back on his bed. Slowly, he pulled off his clothes and began to change into another pair. He cringed as he realized that he was still somewhat hard. Just thinking about the dreams did this anymore. Not bothering to redress, he made himself lay back down and close his eyes.

The dream came back, and Tsukasa was panting again. His body felt on fire, and he reacted readily to the touches he imagined on his bare skin. Moaning loudly, he felt himself coming close to another climax. He didn't know why, but he was craving this to be real. 

Tsukasa gasped though when he was pulled back to reality by footsteps outside his door. Throwing the covers over himself, he buried himself enough to where his aroused state wouldn't be seen. Sure enough, the door opened and Tomonori peeked in. "Tsukasa, are you awake?" he asked softly.

Tsukasa managed to find his voice. "I'm sorry, did I wake you?" he asked softly.

Tomonori gave him a soft smile and stepped inside. "No. I just thought I heard some noises in here and was concerned." he said as he knelt by his futon.

"I'm okay." Tsukasa lied. He buried himself a little deeper, feeling warmer then before. Tomonori was so close. But what would he possibly think if he knew what he'd been doing? 

For a few minutes, they were quiet. Tsukasa quietly found himself cursing his luck that Tomonori hadn't moved. But then, a soft hand touched his head, smoothing back his bangs. "You're warm Tsukasa. Are you not feeling well?" he asked.

At that, Tsukasa found that he couldn't take anymore. It's dark in here, he thought. He might not be able to see anything. And it's not like I haven't kissed him before...

Tomonori froze when he felt the soft lips touch his own. At first, he didn't think anything of it. He just closed his eyes and leaned back into the familiar kiss. It never hurt anything. He'd kissed him plenty of times before. But as Tsukasa's body moved closer, a suddenly realization made he stop. Tsukasa's body... there was nothing on it...

"Tsukasa!" he said, pulling back and finding himself in a sitting position. 

"What's wrong?" Tsukasa asked, forgetting his state of dress for a moment. Then the memory suddenly came back. But as he blushed, he had to smile as well. "I'm not sick Tomonori-san. I was just dreaming..." he said, crawling over to him.

Tomonori just stared at him for a moment. He'd never seen Tsukasa like this. His normally light eyes were dark with passion, and the moonlight outlined his body perfectly. It was quite an alluring sight, something Tomonori had dreamed of many times before. But now, it was actually happening. And somehow, he just couldn't stop thinking that it was wrong of him to consent to this.

"Tsukasa, stop this." he managed to say.

"Why? You don't... want me?" Tsukasa whispered, still not bothering to move from over him.

"No. I don't mean..." Tomonori tried to think of an answer, but it wasn't forthcoming. And it didn't help when Tsukasa kissed him again.

Slowly, his hands found their way up the younger boy's side, gently tracing the fine curves of his ribs. Tsukasa sighed into the kiss, moving closer to press himself against him. Tomonori felt his arousal, and tried to find himself a way out of it. But his brain just wasn't working. The truth was, he wanted this too. 

Moving Tsukasa back to the bed, Tomonori cast the rest of his fears aside. He kissed him deeply, slowly removing his own clothes and enjoying the sighs and moans Tsukasa was making. Taking his time, he explored him passionatly. Tsukasa wrapped his arms around him, sighing and closing his eyes at the wonderful sensations. 

The time seemed to move by slowly as they made love, their soft moans filling the room. It was everything either had ever dreamed of. Climaxing together, they then laid together on the bed in each other's arms. 

"I love you, Tomonori-san." Tsukasa whispered, curling up against him.

"I love you too." Tomonori sighed, holding him close. "Do you... have any regrets?"

Tsukasa shook his head, sleep coming on quickly. "None at all."

TBC?

Notes: You know, it's hard to write a lemon without graphic lemon scenes. I'll have to write an unedited for Anyways, did anyone like it? I've never really written much smut, but I thought I'd give it a try. 


	2. How Could I?

How Could I?

By: Lacus Klein

Disclaimer: No characters mine

Notes: I just had to continue this. The storyline keeps whispering in my ear. These next two will be introspective fics, first Tomonori then Tsukasa. Here's the bit of angst...

When I woke up this morning, I had no idea at first where I was. But when I turned and saw you, the memories flooded back and I thought I would be sick. You were sleeping peacefully beside me, and didn't even stir when I got up. I managed to lurch in my room and sit down. The full impact of everything slowly sunk in.

I shouldn't have continued that last night. I don't know what had gotten into you, but it was wrong of me to encourage it. No matter how much I've longed to have you, it isn't right. Yet, I took you. And you willingly gave yourself to me. 

I feel sick for what I did. I enjoyed it at the time, but now I'm finding regret. What will you think when you wake up? Will you hate me for taking you? My precious angel, what have I done?

I knew from the beginning that there was something different about you. True, I didn't know you were an Eraser. But that didn't matter to me either. You became my family. And though I've known for quite a while now that I'm in love with you, I've always thought it best just to keep it to myself. A man like me doesn't deserve the love of an angel.

You told me last night that you had no regrets. But sadly, I feel that I do. I've tainted you. And yet, even now I wish to go in there and just watch you sleep. But even as I do, I can't help but feel that I'm a horrible person. Will I be able to face you when you wake? 

I don't know...

Slowly, you open your eyes and smile at me. You seem to remember the night before, but don't seem upset at all. How is that? I just can't quite understand. "Tomonori-san.." you whisper, reaching out to touch me.

But I back away. I've already convinced myself that it was wrong of me to take you. You just look at me without understanding. But I can't face you anymore. Instead, I quickly make my exit. I just can't let it happen again. I swear I won't.

And yet, I know in my heart I probably won't be able to keep that promise to myself. 

TBC

Notes: Okay, angst has started. Plot? Well, I guess there's one. Next is Tsukasa! 


	3. Don't You Love Me?

Love of an Angel

By: Lacus Klein

Disclaimer: no characters mine.

Notes: Okay, just so everyone knows, I got a really NASTY review/email from someone anonymous for my X/1999 story, so from now on I'm blocking all anonymous reviews. Sorry about that, but I don't like being cussed at for a mistake. I did fix that story by the way and the new version should be up soon. Thanks you to those who like my stories though and I hope you continue reading them. Nothing against anyone, it just bothers me to be cussed at for nothing. Anyways, on with the story. This is chapter 3, Tsukasa's POV of that morning.

Chapter Three

Do You Love Me?

I'd never felt so wonderful in my life as I did last night. Even now, when I'm still half asleep, I can feel the joy in my heart. Tomonori-san... We've finally proven our love. My heart feels like it wants to burst. Even as the soft sunlight pours in, I find that I don't mind.

As I open my eyes, I reach over to the other side of the bed. But you're not there. I was surprised about that, and I had to sit up. The memories of last night are still here, marking upon my skin. But where did you go?

I'm starting to get scared now. You wouldn't leave me, right?

Putting on a rode, I make my way down the hall and to your bedroom. I peek in and you're sitting here. But I knew better then to enter. You look so upset. Why? Was it because of what we did?

I don't know if I really have the courage to do this, but I managed to open your door. "Tomonori-san?" I whisper.

You don't even look at me. It's almost like if you looked at me, you'd die. I don't understand it at all. What was so wrong with this?

I sit down by you and you still won't look at me. So I ask what's wrong. You stay quiet for a moment, but I can tell you're pained. "We shouldn't have." you tell me softly.

At that moment, my heart feels like it's breaking. Is that what they mean by falling? I just stared at you. But you get up and walk away. And suddenly, I've never felt so cold. I just don't understand. Didn't you say you loved me?

TBC

Notes: Kind of short, but building up. I just wanted to get both point of views from the next morning. More coming soon! 


	4. Heart of Glass

Love of an Angel 

By: Lacus Klein

Disclaimer: The usual. I don't own anything.

Chapter Four

Heart of Glass

It had been several days and Tsukasa still hadn't come back to school. Tomonori had gotten his nerve up to check on him, but everytime he was just asked to leave. Now, sitting at his desk and looking over some papers, he had begun to worry. He hadn't seen Tsukasa since that morning after. His heart still ached from the sad look the little angel had given him. If heart breaks were physical, he had the feeling he'd witnessed one. He'd never meant to hurt him, but he was afraid of what might happen if anyone ever found out.

Loving Tsukasa had been so easy. From the first day he'd met him, he'd felt the attraction between them. Back then, Tsukasa had been alone and afraid. He had no past, no memories. Tomonori had taken pity and took him in. But perhaps even then, it had been something more. And though he'd told himself over and over again that it wasn't, he now knew better.

That night, he hadn't thought of consequences. His only thought had been the love he'd felt for him. And when he woke up the next morning, he just knew that this wouldn't have a good out come. He could love him all he wanted, but he wasn't suppose to touch. What he'd done had to be immoral. And yet, even now, it had felt so right.

Getting up and ready to leave, Tomonori was surprised to hear the sudden knock on the class door. Opening it, he found Mana standing there. "I'm sorry if I'm interrupting." she said.

"No. I was just leaving. But why are you here so late?" Tomonori asked her.

"Well, I wanted to catch you alone. I was worried about Amou-kun. He hasn't been here for a while. Is he sick?" Mana asked.

Tomonori felt his heart tighten, but kept a straight face. "Yes. He just hasn't been feeling well." he lied. He just couldn't see telling his master what had happened. It was just too embarrassing to think of her reaction.

Mana sighed. "Oh, I see. Well, I hope he's okay." she said.

"He'll be find soon. You don't need to worry." Tomonori reassured her. But inside, he wished that he could reassure himself.

"Okay. Do you mind if I drop by and see him sometime? I just want to make sure he'd doing okay." Mana replied.

Tomonori nodded. Watching her leave, he had to sigh. If she dropped by, would Tsukasa snap out of this slump he'd fallen into?

* * *

The house was quiet when Tomonori entered. All the lights were out and there was no aroma of food in the kitchen. Sighing, he put his things away and made his way upstairs. When he reached Tsukasa's door, he stopped and hesitated for a moment. What if he still didn't want to see him?

Pushing the fear aside, he forced himself to open the door. Just as the rest of the house, the room was dark. It was raining outside, so there was barely any light reflected through the curtained windows. Walking in, Tomonori looked around. "Tsukasa?" he called softly.

There was no answer. For a moment, Tomonori felt a bit of panic. Had he left? But then, he noticed the shape sitting against a nearby wall. Walking over, he knew it was Tsukasa. "Tsukasa, what are you doing with all the lights off?" he asked him.

But he got no answer. Tomonori said his name again. Still, he received no answer. Now, he felt himself really begin to panic. It wasn't like Tsukasa not to answer, no matter how depressed he was. He quickly went over and turned on the light.

Tsukasa was just sitting there against the wall. He stared blankly, not moving and breathing slowly. Tomonori knelt down in front of him and shook his shoulders. "Tsukasa!" he said.

Still, no answer. Tsukasa didn't even seem to see him. Quickly, Tomonori picked up up and wrapped him in a blanket to take him to the hospital. He didn't know what was causing this, but he had to do something.

* * *

The doctor looked over the chart as he and Tomonori stood in the hospital room. "Well, physically, there's nothing wrong with him. I've had him under go an evaluation, and we believe the problem is more then likely mental." he told him.

"What kind of mental problem do you think caused this?" Tomonori asked.

"It's hard to tell. Often, when people enter catatonic states, it's due to what you may call an emotional over load. Say something bad happened and that person just wants to forget everything. That's been the most common reason. Another could be related to physical illness, but there's no sign of that. So I believe it was from the first cause." the doctor explained.

"I see." Tomonori said quietly. He felt almost sick inside. This was his fault. He never should've done those things in the first place. He should never have given Tsukasa false hopes.

The doctor nodded. "Has anything bad happened that you feel may have brought this on?" he asked.

Tomonori shook his head. "Not that I know of." he lied. It was none of this man's business as far as he was concerned.

"Well, we could keep him here under the psychiatric ward. But I don't know if that will do any good. You could also take him home and see if he heals on his own. But it may take a long time." the doctor admitted.

Tomonori looked over at Tsukasa again. He still didn't move. His eyes still staring blankly. "I'd rather take him home and care for him myself." he said quietly.

The doctor nodded. "Very well then. I'll get you the papers and you'll be free to go." he said. Then he walked out.

Sighing, Tomonori went over and knelt in front of the chair Tsukasa was sitting in. "I know you can't hear me." he whispered as he took his hand, "But I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to cause you so much pain. Please, come back to me my angel."

TBC

Notes: Okay, so it's kinda short, but I wanted to stop it there for the time being. The mental state I mentioned is basically like being catatonic. Tsukasa wanted to forget everything, so he willed himself into that. Now, will Tomonori be able to save him from himself? Man, I didn't mean to make it so sad. And on my birthday of all things! Yes, this has been written on my birthday. I promise it'll get better soon!


	5. An Angel's Love and A Priest's Fall

Love of an Angel 

By: Lacus Klein

Disclaimers: None mine, as always ;;

Notes: Lemon at end of chapter! So what happens to wake Tsukasa up? You're about to see.

Chapter Five

An Angel's Love and A Priest's Fall

Tomonori knelt down in the church and prayed silently. It had been two weeks, and Tsukasa wasn't getting any better. He felt like the only thing left for him to do was pray. His angel was slipping away, and he'd never felt so helpless before.

Time seemed to go by slowly since Tsukasa fell into his current state. Tomonori had even taken time off from teaching to take care of him. He was grateful that everyone was so understanding of the situation, and that they didn't really ask many questions. At that point, he wasn't sure how he'd have been able to answer them.

Opening his eyes, Tomonori looked up at the large stained glass window in front of him. "Am I wrong for harboring such feelings as do?" he asked softly. "Is it so wrong that I love Tsukasa so much?"

Slowly getting up, he made his way back to the house. As usual, everything was quiet. Tsukasa was lying in his futon, still sleeping. He'd slept a lot since they had returned from the hospital, but the doctors said it was all part of the condition. Sitting beside him, Tomonori pushed his bangs back. "Tsukasa." he whispered.

As he sat there, the doorbell rang. Slowly, Tomonori made himself get up and answer it. To his suprise, Mana was standing there. Still in uniform, she looked like she'd just gotten out of school. "Sorry to bother you. I just came by to see how Amou-kun is doing." she said softly.

"Not much better. He's sleeping right now." Tomonori said as he stepped out with her and gently closed the door.

Mana sighed, looking down. "Poor Amou-kun. Whatever happened must have been very hard on him." she whispered.

"Yes. I suppose it was." Tomonori said softly.

"But I'm sure he'll get better with you taking care of him. You always have a way to make him feel better." Mana told him.

Tomonori looked away. "Well, not always. In fact, I may have made things worse this time. And I have doubts I'll be able to help him now." he admitted quietly.

Mana just looked at him for a moment, then a gentle smile crossed her face. "No. I think things will work out. Amou-kun cares about you more then anyone. And if he sees you're so sad, I'm sure he'll come back and work things out. Whatever happened, I won't ask. It's really none of my business. But Amou-kun cares about you no matter what. I'm sure he won't want to see you so upset because of him." she told him.

Tomonori looked at her with a bit of surprise. But her genuine smile just drove her words in deeper. Perhaps she was right. He and Tsukasa had always been close. Maybe, somehow, he'd find a way to bring him out of it.

Mana looked over her shoulder as the tower bells began to chime. "Oh, I guess I'd better get going. My aunt's going to kill me if I'm late again. But let me know about Amou-kun, and I'll drop by again sometime." she said.

Tomonori agreed and watched her go. Then he slowly opened the door and walked back inside. Tsukasa was still asleep, so he went over and knelt by him again. "Tsukasa, I'm not leaving your side. I'll be here whenever you wake up." he whispered. Then he got back up to make himself some dinner.

* * *

Tsukasa floated aimlessly in his dream world. All around him, the white clouds sat silently. He didn't know where he was, but he didn't really care either. There were no harsh memories here. Nothing to burden him with loss or pain. Just the open sky and clouds. No sounds, no people. It was all so pleasant.

Staring up at the clouds, he watched as bits of sun tried to break through. It cast a kalidascope of colors, surpassing even the most brillant of rainbows. Tsukasa raised his hands to touch them. Is this what heaven feels like? he thought passively.

But as he raised his hands, the colors wrapped around them. It was so warm, so soft. It vaguely reminded him of something. Something he'd somehow managed to forget. As the soft colors gently held his hands, Tsukasa closed his eyes. There was something so soothing about their touch. Almost like someone else's he had once known. But he couldn't place it in his mind.

"Tsukasa."

A soft voice drifted into his hearing. Tsukasa opened his eyes, still grasping at the colors wrapped around his hands. The clouds, to his surprise, her trying to part.

"Tsukasa, please..."

The voice came back again, and the colors slowly drifted back up. Tsukasa whimpered, reaching out more for them. "Please, don't leave." he heard himself say.

"Come back to me Tsukasa." the voice whispered as the clouds parted more.

Tsukasa floated up straight and stared. "Who are you?" he whispered.

"Please don't leave me. I love you Tsukasa." the voice continued to whisper.

Tsukasa stared up as the clouds parted and a familiar face came to his view with arms open wide. "Tomonori-san!" he whispered, flying up quickly and hugging him.

Tsukasa's eyes opened instantly, and he found himself looking at the ceiling. Beside him, Tomonori was asleep. His hands was still tightly holding his. Tsukasa sat up and looked over at him. "Tomonori-san?" he whispered.

Slowly, Tomonori began coming back out of his sleep. His eyes shot open upon seeing Tsukasa sitting up beside him. "Tsukasa?" he whispered, praying that he wasn't just dreaming.

"How long have I been asleep?" Tsukasa whispered.

At that, Tomonori sat up and hugged him tightly. "Oh God Tsukasa, I'm so glad you're all right." he whispered hoarsely.

Tsukasa was a bit surprised. He still didn't understand what was going on. "Yes. But what happened? Why wouldn't I be?" he asked.

"You've been in a catatonic state for two weeks. You didn't respond to anything." Tomonori said as he pulled back to look at him.

"I have?" Tsukasa stared at him. He hadn't even realized how long he'd been in that dream world.

Tomonori looked down, still holding his hands. "I'm so sorry Tsukasa. I shouldn't have hurt you like I did." he whispered sadly.

"It wasn't your fault." Tsukasa whispered. He looked down sadly and squeezed his hands. "I should be the one apologizing. I shouldn't have come on to you like I did. It was selfish to think that you'd be okay with it."

The two sat in silence for a moment. Tomonori looked back up at him, seeing the sadness in his eyes. The room was already dark, but he could see him perfectly. "Then perhaps we've been too hard on ourselves." he finally said.

"Oh?" said Tsukasa.

"I love you Tsukasa. And almost losing you made me realize how much." Tomonori said, leaning over and kissing him softly.

Tsukasa leaned into the kiss, feeling the tears roll down his cheeks. He sighed as the kiss parted and started down his neck. "I love you too. I love you so much." he cried softly.

Tomonori smiled against his neck. "Then let's do this right. This time, let me make love to you and truly mean it." he whispered.

Tsukasa pulled back a little, staring into his eyes. All he could do was nod and kiss him again.

In no time, Tomonori found himself laying on his back with Tsukasa moving over him. He watched him moan and throw his head back. Reaching up his back, he gently rubbed the scars from his wings. Tsukasa cried out, his other wings sprouting in a burst of white. Tomonori gently stroked the white feathers as their hips moved together. "Tomonori-san." Tsukasa whispered, his voice thick with passion.

"I love you Tsukasa." Tomonori whispered back, thrusting a little harder. Tsukasa threw his head back again and cried out as his climax hit. He felt his lover spasm under him, and he knew they'd reached that point together.

Falling back on the bed, the two curled up together and kissed deeply. "I love you so much Tomonori-san." Tsukasa whispered, touching his cheek.

Tomonori smiled back at him. He couldn't remember a time when he'd felt so happy and complete. Kissing his forehead, he watched his angel begin drifting off to sleep. "So you'll be waking up in the morning now?" he asked softly.

"As long as you're here." Tsukasa promised.

Tomonori held him close and felt the sleep coming on with him as well. He smiled down at the boy in his arms. "I'll always love you Tsukasa."

TBC

Notes: Aw, how sweet. See? Happy ending so far. Just a little more to go. Hey, can't end it just yet!


	6. My Happy Ending

Love of an Angel 

By: Lacus Klein

Disclaimer: The usual, no characters mine.

Notes: Last chapter! Thank you to everyone who's been following and reviewing. I feel so loved! Sorry for the long between in updates. Between health, work, and family I really haven't had time to post lately. Yes, I've had a nasty cold. But thank God, spring is upon us! And what better time to end this story, eh?

Chapter Six

My Happy Ending

"Amou-kun!"

Tsukasa turned to see Mana running over to him happily. She seemed relieved to see him coming to school. "Good morning Kirihara-san." he said.

"I'm so glad you're feeling better." Mana said .

"Yes. Tomonori-san is too. And it's good to be back." Tsukasa said a bit sheepishly. He could only imagine what she would've thought if she knew the things between them now.

The two walked to class together and the day seemed to go by fine. At swim class, Itsuki and Kagame watched by the fence. "Looks like he's all right now." Itsuki commented quietly.

"Mana didn't say what was wrong with him, but she seems relieved." Kagame said.

"Daddy's overprotective, so they probably had a fight or something." Itsuki told him.

Kagame didn't pay much attention, leaning back against the fence. "I doubt that would be a misunderstanding." he said.

Itsuki looked at him for a moment, apparently puzzled by those words. But then, a thought popped into his mind. "Hey, you don't think they..." he started.

"You have a sick mind." Kagame interrupted.

"Oh come on! You really don't think they could be?" Itsuki said.

"What are you guys talking about?" Haruna asked, walking over to them.

Itsuki immediately clamed up, blushing. Kagame shook his head. "As I said, you have a sick mind."

* * *

"Are you doing all right now Tsukasa?"

Tomonori looked over at his companion as the two walked home in the twilight. Tsukasa smiled back at him. "I'm fine now. You don't need to worry anymore." he said.

"I'm glad." Tomonori said, giving him a soft smile back.

Tsukasa looked up at the sky and put his hands behind his back. "This really is a beautiful world." he whispered.

An arm around his waist made him open his eyes again and he smiled up at Tomonori. "The world will always be beautiful, as long as you are in it." he told him.

Tsukasa smiled and kissed him softly. Yes, the world was beautiful. And it would always be as long as they were together.

Meanwhile...

"See! I told you so!" Itsuki whispered from behind the trees.

"Will you shut up!" Kagame whispered back harshly. "Or this time, he really will kill us!"

End

Notes: Okay, short. But that's the cold's fault. Hope every likes it though. Do I smell a sequel sometime soon? Maybe. Also, just had to put that ending. Leave it to Itsuki to have to know. So, what about it? Sequel?


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